I have no intention of becoming a book reviewer. But I do have a short story to share about how I reached a decision to keep just three books this year.
Curating the Keepers
As readers, there are a few books we read each year that leave a lasting impression. They will change how we understand or feel about something. They will change the way that we believe. And they (sometimes) will even change the way that we behave. These are the keepers.
I am sure that everyone has their way of determining their keepers. I know I do – I take all my books through a three-part process:
Firstly, the book gets “played with” (as my son describes it). The more I like it, the more it gets carried everywhere, stuffed into my bag, dog-eared, coffee-stained, and the spines get so creased that even the book title is no longer noticeable.
Secondly, if all is going well and I’m enjoying the book, it will get thoroughly “scribbled” with pens, pencils, or a highlighter. I don’t have a scientific system: I tend to draw an untidy line under any text where I like what I read. Then, if I really like it, I will drop an asterisk. And if I love it, I bring out the big gun highlighter pen.
Finally, some of these heavily curated, tatty books might be so good that they can be shortlisted to be enshrined on “the” bookcase. I have moved around a fair bit in my career, and each time, I have had to rationalise my collection of books down to whatever can fit on this infamous bookcase. The rest, sadly, have to go (and that’s another story and process altogether).
Three books “made it” in 2023. I did squeeze a couple more in, but they will bumped for any new keepers I might choose in 2024. I haven’t reviewed them as I’m not actually trying to recommend them to you and because there are already loads of good reviews out there.
Whatever anyone else thinks of these books, the point is that they resonated with me last year because they clicked with something already on my mind or because they are inherently good (ok, so I may be recommending them a little!).
1. Excellent Sheep by William Deresiewicz
Why this one means something to me:
I have three children who will soon be going into (my) High School, and I worry about how they might be caught in a herd mentality of what success looks like. So many (but certainly not all) students I work with are hyper-competitive and strive to gain admission to the most prestigious colleges and universities worldwide. They work hard in their classes and then engage in an inordinate number of extra hours of extracurricular pursuits (including tutoring, music, sports, and service activities). They do this for themselves, sure, but equally for their parents, who have shaped and invested so much in their children’s futures.
This book filled me with hope that there could be a more authentic, creative way to help my children create their own meaning and purpose in life. I want them to live out their own life, not mine.
Here are a couple of quotes I highlighted:
“You want to make it to the top? There is no top. However high you climb, there is always somebody above you. Mailer wanted to be Hemingway, Hemingway wanted to be Joyce, and Joyce was painfully aware he’d never be another Shakespeare.”
“The system manufactures students who are smart and talented and driven, yes, but also anxious, timid, and lost, with little intellectual curiosity and a stunted sense of purpose: trapped in a bubble of privilege, heading meekly in the same direction, great at what they’re doing but with no idea why they’re doing it.”
2. Compassionate Leadership by Rasmus Hougaard and Jacqueline Carter
Why this one means something to me:
Leading in schools is incredibly difficult, and there will not be a day that goes by where a hard decision will not need to be made. I’ve read so many books on how to make decisions, but what I love about this book is the reframing: “How do you do hard things in a human way?”.
The answer is through “wise compassion,” which involves combining “caring presence” — or focusing on the person you’re with — with the courage to tackle hard issues quickly and candour and transparency in facing them.
Here are a few quotes I highlighted:
“As leaders, we must connect with others through empathy, but we have to lead with compassion.”
“Sometimes, not taking action can be the wisest and most compassionate thing we can do to create space for people to figure out things on their own.”
3. The Perfection Trap by Thomas Curran
Why this one means something to me:
As a school leader, I can see what the research is telling us: burnout and depression are at record levels, driven by a combination of intense competition, oppressively ubiquitous social media encouraging comparisons with others, the quest for elite credentials, and helicopter parenting. I also see how society continually transmits the need to want more and to be perfect.
But we need to be OK with being good enough.
Here are a few quotes I highlighted:
“Perfection is man’s ultimate illusion. It simply doesn’t exist in the universe. If you are a perfectionist, you are guaranteed to be a loser in whatever you do.”
“People with high levels of socially-prescribed perfectionism typically report elevated loneliness, worry about the future, need for approval, poor-quality relationships, rumination and brooding, fears of revealing imperfections to others, self-harm, worse physical health, lower life satisfaction and chronically low self-esteem.”
“Perfectionism makes people extremely insecure, self-conscious and vulnerable to even the smallest hassles.”
So there you have it. My 3 books for 2023.
With no promises for 2024.
Serendipities 