Book Mountain
I love books. Indeed, for most of my life, I have always kept a stack of books by my bedside. Not the books I have read (those go on the bookshelf, if there is space), but those that I have yet to read. Some are gifted, some are borrowed, some are bought impulsively, some are new, and some are old. All of them sit there, impatiently, waiting for me.
It gives me great joy to read, but for many reasons, I have come to recognise that Book Mountain is (ironically) not good for my mental health:
- I feel frustrated that I never make any progress—I add more unread books than I can actually read.
- I constantly question why I am in this losing position despite multiple 10,000 hours of reading – I should be really good at this.
- I feel guilty for holding onto borrowed books too long—some of which I don’t even want to read.
- I find it difficult to enjoy my current book. I get that uncomfortable feeling I experience when someone is holding a door open for me, and I have to speed up to avoid keeping them waiting.
- I agonise over choosing the next book to read on the stack, which slows me down even more.
- I sometimes want to re-read old favourite books – but I feel obliged to take something from Book Mountain before I can do that.
Open Loops
Each of these books represents an open loop (an unfinished commitment). These open loops are like the Google tabs I never close (or forget to close) on my laptop, which soak up all the RAM and drain my battery.
I learned this weekend that Psychologists call this the Zeigarnik Effect. This is where the brain struggles to let go of tasks that haven’t yet been completed, even if they are not urgent. It takes up our bandwidth. It’s an open loop active in our brains until it has been closed.
So, Book Mountain represents a monstrous collection of open loops that relentlessly whirr around in my head. My brain wants to close the loops, but it can only do so when Book Mountain is no more.
Now, it occurred to me (after reading about this some more) that to close Book Mountain, which is a running sore for me, I might have a few options:
- Read each book faster and/or more efficiently.
- Move/hide Book Mountain so it is not the first thing I see each morning.
- Destroy Book Mountain.
My first thought was to move Book Mountain. You can’t see me if I can’t see you, so I carried the books into another room. But it made no difference. The next morning, even without seeing Book Mountain, I could still hear it whispering, “Get a move on.”
I knew then I needed to take more drastic action.
I paraded all the unread books (all nineteen of them) on the kitchen table and committed to limiting myself to three. I began sifting.
Firstly, I decided to remove all the books that had been sitting in Book Mountain for over a year (and had already been passed over several times), leaving me with eleven books. Four more (mint-condition books) were sacrificed to my Dirty Santa regifting box1. I then resolved to (find the courage to) return three borrowed books to their owners, leaving me with four books.
I had made a molehill out of a mountain. And, having got this far, closing 15 of my open-loop tabs, I definitely felt a little lighter.
Closing Loops
The problem is that I am currently processing another 47-odd open loops.
Beyond my work inbox (which I seem able to compartmentalise as one open-loop), I also need to complete a load of other things on my To-Doom list. I need to file my UK tax return, open a new bank account, buy a couple more work shirts, drive some boxes down to the second-hand store, order a cheesecake for Friday evening, fix the printer again, ring my mum, reply to that WhatsApp message, paint those Warhammer miniatures, and then have that hard conversation I’ve been putting off.
It’s the culmination of all the little things that can impact our well-being. A single book is a joy, but an unread stack of books is a burden.
The thing is, having conquered Book Mountain, I now feel pretty motivated to get some more of that sweet feeling of satisfaction (and renewed energy) that comes from reaching a summit – pressing the x on a tab – the closing of another loop.
Now…I have a book to finish.
- Please don’t tell me you haven’t got a hidden re-gift box stashed away somewhere. ↩︎
Serendipities 